A Weekend of Not Quite Right

19th May - I feel atrocious. I am in bed trying to breathe, trying not to cry and in between fitful sleep watching some of the Royal Wedding. I eventually get out of bed about 1pm, shower and feel like I’m going to faint. Why has this drain procedure made me feel this way when last time I felt relief and posted a photo of me smiling?! This thoracocentesis only drained 600ml, the one before was so much more. Maybe the fact they went into the same area? Anyway, regardless of why it's bloody sore!

I struggle downstairs and onto the sofa. Everything is an extraordinary effort. I want to go to London Wine Fair 😭 This is looking less and less likely. We have friends round for dinner, I can hardly remember this. I feel and look like crap. I know Sarah, Dave and Bob came. I cannot tell you what we ate or what we did or what we talked about. Weird.

20th May - I am beyond sad. I cannot do LWTF, I’m too ill. I am gutted. Face facts Jojo. I cannot remember if I called anyone at work to let them know. I really hope I did.

I spend the day in the garden or on the sofa trying to feel better. I’m exhausted. It doesn’t feel right. The last drain at the end of April made me feel better. This is not the same. Pop, pop, pop. I cannot get it out of my head. Just walking to get a glass of water is extraordinarily hard. I feel so light-headed. I try and eat. I think I have pitta and marmite.

Rob returns from helping with his grandma's garden, he always does so much for everyone. I love him very much. I tell him I’m not quite right, about my day of exhaustion, despite all the relaxation attempts. We agree to wait until tomorrow before we escalate things, there’s something amiss, but we both feel nothing is requiring immediate medical attention as we have checked my temperature and pulse which both appear to be normal. I will call Southwater Surgery tomorrow and get checked out at an emergency appointment.

Rob took this photo of me on Sunday afternoon. Looking at it now I really don’t look very well at all.