Emotional Rollercoaster

A really mixed day of emotions. Rob's grandpa sadly passed away. He's had motor neurone disease since he summer and has been speedily deteriorating ever since. Poor Rob has been ultra stressed, he's got a massive interview tomorrow for a director role at work and having to cope with his grandpa being poorly and being the rock for his family. I felt awful when I found out about grandpa as I was away in Bath with Mish. I offered to come home but he said no. I told him to smash his interview for grandpa so fingers crossed for that.

So with the lowest lows come the highest highs, I just found out my mammogram was NED. 3 years cancer-free - Yippee.

Edit: Rob absolutely kicked butt in the interview and got the job. So proud.

Unlucky for some

Friday 13th. Joy. I'm not generally supersistious, but when I get THE letter on the door mat advising me of my upcoming mammogram, of course it would bloody be on Friday 13th.

Rob couldn't come to the scan so Mish kindly came with me instead. I go to work in the morning, trying to distract myself with inane tasks, they don't help. Drive on autopilot to Mish's house, she drives me to the hospital. I walk the familiar walk to the X-ray department, check in, get the usual quizzical look from the receptionist (head tilt + curiosity + you're so young) and get directed (I don't listen, I already know the way) to the mammogram waiting area.

Another young woman is waiting there, she has the evident chemo curls, I smile at her and wonder if she is on YBCN. I get the usual impatient leg jiggle, mind wandering all over the place. Then I'm called in. I know the procedure, top off, details checked, the mammographer's cold hands, standing awkwardly at the machine, being too short so having to stand on tiptoes but stand as still as possible. The scans are done, they hurt. I look at the mammographer's face and she gives nothing away. Of course she doesn't. Then it's over. Mish gives me a hug and we leave the hospital. 

Now I wait.

Chemoversary #3

Happy Chemoversary to me!

3 years ago on this date I finished chemotherapy. It feels both like it was only yesterday but also like some shitty horrible distant nightmare. Given that it's breast cancer awareness month it seems very apt to remind you all to do your monthly check. Young and old, women and men, we can all get breast cancer so please don't put it off.

If you're not sure what to check for, here's a reminder from Breast Cancer Care

3 Year Cancerversary

3 Years ago today I heard the life changing words of "I'm sorry to have to tell you that it IS cancer". As I blow out my 3 candles today, I think about the YBCN angels and how very lucky I am.

Here's to lots more candles :-)

100,000 Page Views

I am super happy because today my blog has gone over 100,000 page views. When I started writing this blog as a cathartic outpouring, I never dreamed it would be viewed by this many people. If out of the 100,000 views, a fraction of people have been helped in some way or have done some TLC then that it is even more awesome. Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, emailed or got in touch in some way throughout the blog so far - you make it worthwhile :-)

 

 

Addendum: Since starting this post - it's gone up another 600 or so, it's now at 100,658!

Hip Hip Hooray

Today was a good day :-) I had my 6 month check-up with the oncologists who were happy with everything and told me that everything looked (and felt!) good and that they would see me in a years' time. Rob and I also spoke to them about the possibility of stopping tamoxifen after 5 years to try for a baby and the oncologist said he saw no reason why we couldn't. I'm already 2 years down so roll on the next 3 - Yay!

Picture credit: www.amyrobison.com

New Job!

So excited to announce that I have a new job! Starting tomorrow I will be the Commercial Manager at ABS Wine Agencies. I am so pleased, excited and keen to get started! When I wrote to ABS speculatively, they originally said they had no vacancies, but because they liked my CV (and me!) so much, they ended up creating a role for me :-)

2 Years NED

2 years ago yesterday I found out that my cancer had gone, that on my second margin clearing operation they had got it all. Today I had my annual check up and saw my consultant surgeon (who I saw back in November when I had the scare). He gave my boobs a quick squodge, felt my armpits (checking the lymph nodes) and tapped my back. Then Rob and I went into his consultation room, he looked at the images from my mammogram, asked how I was tolerating the Tamoxifen and said "Okay, see you in a year"! Awesomeness :)

50s chic

This weekend was Miss Power's hen do, it was great and really nice to put my job woes to the back of my mind. Amongst the other fun things we did, the bridesmaids had arranged for us all to have 50s style hair and make-up done. Everyone else was able to have victory rolls in their hair, I thought I was going to have to 'settle' for a short style but I am actually super pleased with what they did!

Got home after the hen and switched the calendar to February, I then remembered I have my Cancer check-up tomorrow. I guess the fact that I forgot must mean I'm truly moving on from it :-)

3 in 3

So in my last post I was feeling a bit down that I hadn't got a job and that I wasn't making massive headway. Well this week I had 3 interviews in 3 days! One was for a wine company in West London, the job and the company sounded great but it took me 2.5 hours to get there, the salary that they would have been offering wouldn't have been worth a 5 hour round commute. Since working with my outplacement support lady, she has helped me identify that one of my greatest career anchors is my work life balance, this certainly wouldn't have adhered to that. I ended up sending a TBNT email to the interviewer, heard back from an ex-colleague who currently works there that the interviewer liked me and was disappointed I'd withdrawn from the application process. So although it wasn't right for me, it was great to have interview practice, nice feedback and get back into the swing of things.

 

 

The very next day I had a phone interview for another wine company, this one felt much better and much more me than the West London one. The company is about 15 miles from my house. I'm keeping my fingers very crossed. There wasn't a role I applied for, it was completely speculative so I would be very excited to work there. I found out later that day that they would like to see me face-to-face next Friday. I would love to get this one....

 

Today I had an interview for a role as a Food Buyer. So outside of wine but using my languages, buying skills, organisation and supplier relationship experience. It was a tough panel style interview with 2 people and it was about an hour and a half long. I think I handled it well though and I should hear back by next week. Fingers crossed here too!

 



Job Searching

I've been feeling pretty down about not having a job, it's miserable and I have no idea how some people (other than those who genuinely cannot work) do not want to have a job. All I want to do is get back into a routine, earning money and having a career. Yes I have been through something far bigger than this but it's still pretty crappy.

I've been working with a lady from an Outplacement Support company provided by my old employer. They've been really helpful, assisting me in writing my CV, helping me figure out what it is that I want to do, helping me identify my career anchors and getting me interview ready.

Keep your fingers crossed that the universe is kind to me soon....

I should probably remind myself of this sometimes.....