Quoi de Neuf

So this time it was more the Tax Van than the Tax Truck that came to town. Although as before the bone pain was horrible, it wasn't quite as bad. Apparently this is because you still have some FEC in your system, so dose #4 is like a double whammy, whereas dose 5 is just (just she says!) Tax not Tax + FEC.

I spent a lot of this chemo taking my temperature, and feeling paranoid that I would be going back to hospital again. Although I know that if that had happened, then hospital would have been the best place for me, the idea of it is still pretty hard to think about.

This chemo has made my eyelashes thin dramatically. I have maybe two lashes on each lower lid, and a few more on each upper lid, but they are becoming pretty sparse. However, the lovely Louise may have just come to my rescue. She works at QVC, and they support (the bloody brilliant) Breast Cancer Care. This coming week they are having a fundraising day, and Louise was chatting to someone who works there about me, and how I was interested in a product called Revitalash. The lady she was talking to then said she had two open samples of the product that I was very welcome to have :) So that's saving me over £100! I think I have to use it after chemo (as your skin becomes super sensitive during treatment), but I'll be able to properly monitor the results then and let you all know if it works or not!

The same thing has happened with my eyebrows which have all but disappeared. I do have a fab bit of make-up to disguise this fact though. It's called Wide Awake by Jelly Pong Pong. It has some eye brightener cream which helps hide my black bags (well suitcases rather than bags tbh!) and makes me look more awake. The eyebrow stuff is powder rather than pencil, so it's easier to use and not as obvious. The eyebrow powder stays on all day which is nice as I find pencil smudges/rubs off mine. There are also 3 colours to chose from, I blend them so use lightest at start of brow and very end, slightly darker leading to the middle on each side then darkest in the very top at the natural arch. I then smudge the whole lot with my little finger so it all blends together. I think unless you really looked, you couldn't tell I was follically challenged!

Chemo #5 is apparently the most emotionally difficult for chemo patients and I can relate to this. I think it's because you're coming to the end of your chemo journey and you have kind of got yourself into a routine, chemo, feel crappy for a week, feel a bit better (but you're housebound because of your low blood count), feel more normal and then it's chemo time again. Now, faced with chemo #6 it's kind of like, what's next, and you feel full of fear and uncertainty again. I know that the next stage is surgery. I'm meeting with my oncologist on Wednesday this coming week to discuss how the chemo has gone thus far, and hopefully he will be able to answer some of my questions about what's next.

This week, although tiring, has been a good one:

1. I won a competition at White Mischief Bridal - a day out consisting of a voucher off a dress, champagne, makeover, manicure, goody bag & sweet treats. Good news is that it's after my chemo, about week 4 so I should (fingers crossed) feel okay
2. I was able to go back to work (I braved wearing Erika!) and although it absolutely exhausted me it was great to go back. 
3. I got to see my sister Kitty & brother Henry (for the first time in far too long) along with my dad for lunch  
4. It was my two of lovely friend's (Laura & Hannah) 30th birthdays - Happy Birthday Girls!
5. Rob & I sorted the company that is going to do our invites, table plan, table names/numbers, guest book & postbox at for our wedding :)
6. I went to the cinema with Rob, Michelle & Dave
7. I have peach fuzz! My head hair is growing!! It's not much and is a bit like the fuzz you get on peach skin but it's definitely there and it's definitely growing :)

Previously, I would have taken doing all these things for granted. But now, although I used (loads of) spoons, just doing "normal" things is fantastic.

Tomorrow evening, there is a fashion show happening at The Hawth in Crawley called Catwalk Carnival to raise money for The Olive Tree (the young person's group I attend) so if you're in the area and fancy going along, please do :)

Best summary title for this post is Quoi de Neuf. There's not really an English equivalent but here's a rough translation