Happy Birthday Sarah

Today was Sarah's 30th Birthday and she had a fab village fête in her and Dave's garden where she raised around £100 for charity. I was brave & wore Erika, got lots of compliments for it :) I did feel kinda paranoid & like everyone was looking at it but I'm proud of myself for giving her her first 'proper' outing. Thanks for a fab day Sarah :)

Photo courtesy of Steve Pratt

Also, as I hadn't seen Kelly since my birthday(!) she gave me my fab pressies, an Ipad cover and this funky Border Terrier Doormat :) Thank you Kelly

Erika's Debut Outing

Been going a little stir crazy as pretty much been in the flat for a week due to low WBC count risk time, so today I felt determined (despite feeling mank) to do something a little brave. I decided it was time to debut Erika. 

Then I looked out the window and it was like something from Winnie the Pooh & the Blustery Day. Almost chickened out but thought that the mega wind would actually be a good test for how she fitted. Spent a good half hour actually putting it on, taking it off, putting it on, taking it off (for 'taking' it off, read pulling it off my head & throwing it on the floor in frustration child tantrum stylée) before finally fitting it correctly. I popped some sunny-Gs on top of Erika for extra anchorage and then walked out the door up to the local shops to get some supplies.

Yes I was only out of the flat for a maximum of 15 minutes (& the whole time I was convinced people were looking at me thinking WIG WIG WIG) but it's a pretty big step for me & I'm proud of myself for doing it :)

Chemo #2

Getting set for chemo number 2. Feel a lot less nervous than last time as this time I know what the actual process is but still bloody worried about the SEs as I've heard they can be cumulative.

Think I'm not gonna bother with the Cold Cap any more though as last night a crazy amount of hair came out...

At least I have Erika ready, I've also ordered a couple of bandanas and I have my eye on a lovely hat (which typically is the most expensive item on the entire suburbanturban website!)

Shedding (pardon the pun) Some Light On Hair Loss

My hair is really starting to fall out now :( It's really hard to describe how hair loss actually feels to people but I'll try...

My head was itchy and hot like I'd sunburned it for the whole of last week and then on Thursday it started to feel like I'd applied hair removal cream to my head and the hair was simply melting off my scalp. The actual hair is becoming wispy and if I even touch it, loads falls out. This sucks :(

My nose is also on permanent drip mode. I thought it was hayfever but have since realised that my nose hair (yes girls have nose hair too!) has fallen out.

I made the decision this evening to have my mid-back length hair cut to just above my shoulders. I felt that the weight of the hair couldn't be doing it any favours.

This is so bloody difficult psychologically. The hair is now cut and I don't feel like me any more. At secondary school I used to get bullied about my hair and I just feel fecking miserable about the whole thing. I suppose at least I have Erika (my wig's style name) for when the now inevitable happens.

I am now deciding whether or not to keep going with the cold cap on Thursday or just say bugger it and go without hair full stop.

Annoyingly I still have all my leg hair! Wish that would fall out instead.... :)

Baldilocks

Given the fact that I'm currently moulting more than Fagin, I thought it was probably a good idea to sort out a wig.

Before today for me, the word wig = toupee, pink afro, shiny obvious fakeness. I am more than pleased to say I was very, very wrong.

Rob & I turned up at TrendCo Hove and to be honest I was very apprenhensive, unsure what to expect but also felt like I really didn't want to be there. But Phoebe who looked after us was absolutely fantastic. She put me at ease right away, talked me through all my fears, worries etc and gave some fantastic advice.

I ended up coming away with a wig which I am actually really happy with, I wish that I didn't have to buy one but if I do end up 'needing' it (which at the rate I'm shedding hair I think might be fairly soon), I am pleased with the one I have. I actually managed to fool Amanda, Amy and Michelle by sending them photos of my new "haircut" and they all said they thought it was lovely, when I told them it was Erika (my wig's brand name!) they were all really shocked - which can only be a good thing....

I'll post the photo when I'm feeling brave enough....

December 2012: