Giant Polo of Joy

My 3 month check-up CT scan is due, joy. Plus it ties in with the one the onc said I needed to see if my spine is actually better or worse.

I know it’s needed, I know a CT is quicker than an MRI, still not fun though and there is just so much hanging around waiting for all the different elements.

I work in the morning and then head over to Michelle's who is kindly taking me to the scan. We head to East Surrey and the waiting room is absolutely packed and so boiling hot. I have to drink a litre of water ready for the scan. Mish and I are so sleepy waiting as it’s so warm!

Eventually I’m called through for my scan. They actually get the cannula in first time, I am amazed! I answer the usual joyous question about being pregnant 😞 and get on the bed, go through the giant polo and get it done with. It all feels so routine now! It’s over within 20 minutes. 

I meet Mish in the CT waiting area where you have to wait again in case of a reaction to the contrast. It’s all fine as normal so they remove the cannula and we are free, huzzah. 

CT Scan

Colin drove me to East Surrey for my early doors CT scan. I had to be there for 08:40, which meant rush hour traffic - lovely. When I arrived I had to drink a litre of water. I was asked to change into the lovely hospital gowns and was taken to a waiting room.

After about 10 minutes I was called through, I lay down on the bed, fearing the worst after last weeks' scan and they then told me it would only be 15 minutes long - huzzah!! They also got the cannula in first time - double huzzzah!

I had the scan with contrast which was the giant polo that I have had many times before and then headed back to the waiting room. Once I'd peed and showed them I was having no reaction to the contrast, I was allowed home.

Results from this and the MRI are due next Thursday. Scanxiety time.

CT & Bone Scan

Today I had my two scans at East Surrey hospital. I slept so badly last night, I'm so fecking terrified. My mind is going to some really bad places, running down rabbit warrens, on and on, it's impossible to stop it. I know I don't know yet but I'm pretty convinced it's going to be shitty news.

Anyway, I had to be nil by mouth from 06:40, 4 hours before the CT scan (not hard, I can't eat at the moment anyway, I projectile vomit, 6lbs lost since Thursday...). We drove to the hospital with me trying to drink water (you have to drink a litre in an hour before the scan) and not vom. We signed in at the reception and then I was led away, told to put a gown on and was then led through to the CT machine. I had a drip thing put in my hand and started crying. The team were really nice and explained everything that was going on but lying under the whirring machine brought everything crashing down and smacked me in the face. Basically they are checking my organs for cancer. If there is cancer in the organs I will die from it. Cancer in the organs or bones is treatable but not curable, and that's the rabbit warren I've been going down.

Then I went round to nuclear medicine and had a radioactive dye inserted into my veins and was told to go away for 3 hours to give the dye time to get around my body.

Rob and I left and went for some lunch but I am literally finding it impossible to eat, everything makes me want to hurl. In the end after a lot of debate I chose an open chicken sandwich, I managed about 8 mouthfuls before I had to run to the loo to be sick. I'm in such a state of overwhelm my body just rejects everything. It's so bad as I need to keep my strength up but I'm finding it so hard.

We head back to nuclear medicine and I have the bone scan, it takes 22 minutes exactly. I'm lying on a bed (my head saw it as a mortuary slab - told you I was in a dark place) and a camera starts at the top of my body taking photo after photo until it reaches my toes. And then it's done.

I should have the results from these scans and my biopsy all in one go next Tuesday. Basically if it is cancer, they want to be able to tell me everything all in one go. It's shit I have to wait but it does make sense that way.

Fucksticks

P.S. Scans are shit but sparkly shoes are always amazing.

Fucksticks

I've been so scared that the doctor had misdiagnosed me that I kept on going for appointments and pushing and being a general pain in the arse.

Thank fuck I did. On Tuesday I went to the breast specialist who felt my areas of concern and told me she was "not concerned" but that she would refer me for an ultrasound anyway.

Today I had that ultrasound and they have done a biopsy as they have spotted a bit they want to investigate further. But basically they think my cancer is back. I have to wait a max of 7 days for the results to come back and they are also booking me in for a bone scan and a CT scan. Holy fucking shit.