Younger Women with Secondaries Together - Bristol

This weekend I was privileged enough to be able to attend an event in Bristol organised by Breast Cancer Care for women aged under 45 specifically with Secondary Breast Cancer. I have actually been on one of these awesome weekends before in November 2012 in Brighton when I had my primary diagnosis.

Whereas in 2012 I was pretty apprehensive about going to the event, this time because I’d connected with most of the ladies going on this one via my YBCN Facebook group I was more excited! We’d all chatted in advance and worked out where we were going to meet etc so my planning side felt pleased 😂

Channelling a French vibe:

I made the mammoth train journey down to Bristol, jumped in a taxi and headed to the lovely Mercure hotel. As before in 2012, everything about the weekend was funded, the hotel, meals, speakers etc. As soon as I arrive to check in, I was met by a huge sweeping hug from Mairi. Had never met the lass in real life before, but everyone’s Facebook connection is so strong it felt like I knew her already 😊

I went to my room, dumped my stuff and headed to the bar. Spotting my girls, we all hugged and started to chat, it was awesome to be with them all for real! Hugging Pilar, Nina and Lisa after chatting for so long was incredible. I also met some “newbs” who weren’t part of the YBCN group who I recruited into the fold. We all got to know each other very quickly and our sense of humour matched perfectly. I knew I’d made lifelong friends when I hugged Bubbles, laughed until I couldn't breathe with Bev, Dom, Steph and Myra, talking about Elmer Fudd & Popeye 😂, Boo's cider shits, our tits, nothing off limits - I think I got to bed about 2am!

The next morning I headed upstairs for the official start of event. I was given a name badge that was immediately adjusted to Lily by Bev! The night before Bev was convinced she had met me somewhere before, she couldn't work it out until about 4 hours later when she shouted Lily Allen at me 🤣

We were called into the main room where the running order of the weekend was explained, there were a few general sessions about treatment, trials etc and then various break-out groups which we had specifically chosen as of interest to us. After a chat about medical advances and other topics we headed down for some lunch. My afternoon breakout group was about Palliative Care and the misnomers about what this is. Other options could have been:

• Adjusting/adapting to a life-limiting illness
• Relationships & communication

Mine was interesting and clarified a few things in my head, however it was a little Bristol-focussed. I understand as they obviously could not cover all areas in the country, and different areas have different levels of care etc. What was good was the explanation that palliative is not literally as you are dying, it’s everything they can do from right now to help.

I also then did a session on exercise and what was possible with my mets, and as a result I have bought some resistance bands.

We then had chill time so Lisa, Boo, Bubbles and I got some snacks and drinks and relaxed in Boo's room. Then I went back my room, got ready for dinner and had another wicked night full of fun and giggles.

The next morning I got ready into a pretty dress 🙂 Lisa loved my priceless £2 watch and ordered it in about 3 colours, good old Amazon from China 🤣

 

We started in the same large room where we had an interesting session on clinical trials. If anyone would like the presentation on this, please get in touch and I will happily share.

We then had our breakout groups where the options were:

• Talking with/supporting children - sadly obvious not one for me 😪
• Adjusting/adapting to a life-limiting illness
• Sexuality and intimacy 

I chose the life-limiting illness session. It was interesting but felt a little more like a group therapy session rather than actually getting coping tips. It was very helpful though and I got the chance to speak about this blog and how cathartic it was which was very cool. 

Then we had lunch and the event was over! It went so fast but it was so good. My heartfelt thanks to everyone at Breast Cancer Care for making the weekend happen. I got some amazing information but the best thing by far to come out of it was connecting to people and making amazing friends.

The Bristol Bitches Mascot is living with Boo  😂

04/08/2018 - I can't quite believe this. RIP Mairi. Shine Bright. I don't know how the fuck this happened so fast. I am in shock. You were so well at Bristol and the first person to hug me. Fuck you cancer you utter utter bastard 😓

Chemoversary #4

I can hardly believe that today is my 4 year chemoversary! I am definitely "moving on" as it feels like a horrible distant nightmare rather than thinking about it every single moment of every single day.

Given that it's October and Breast Cancer Awareness month (though who isn't aware of breast cancer god only knows....) it's an ideal time to remind you all to do your monthly checks. Young, old, male, female, we can all (unfortunately) get breast cancer.

If you're not sure what you're looking for, there's a handy checklist from the NHS at the following link: Click Me

Brighton Young Women's Forum

I have just come back from 2 fantastic days in Brighton at Breast Cancer Care's Younger Women's Forum.  It’s ten years since Breast Cancer Care held the first Younger Women’s Forum. They run six forums a year around the UK, each bringing together around 30 women under the age of 45 for two days of tailored information, support and sharing experiences. Before I went I was pretty apprehensive. The thought of signing up for two days away from home with a group of strangers, whilst dealing with treatment for breast cancer, didn't exactly fill me with joy. I had visions of everyone sitting around being miserable and making other people feel low. I also had silly visions of everyone taking their wigs off in a Roald Dahl's The Witches stylée! In the end I made the decision to go (and I'm bloody pleased that I did).

So What Was It All About?
I had made friends in advance with a couple of girls on Facebook (via a Young Women's Group) and arranged to meet one of them, Nicola, at Brighton station. We grabbed a taxi together to the Old Ship Hotel, and went into the reception room where we were given our name tags which also said our locations on. It was nice to see a few other girls from the Sussex area, and we had a quick chat before moving upstairs to the main room where we would be located for the next 2 days.

One of the women running the forum explained how everything would work and then we went into our first session which entitled "Medical Update - Management of Breast Cancer in Younger Women". It was very interesting and we could ask any questions we wanted. After that we had lunch and I met a lovely girl called Amie.

After lunch there were various Break Out Groups covering the following topics:

• Breast Surgery & Reconstruction
• Menopausal Symptoms
• Relationships & Communication

You opted one to go to of the sessions and then there was an hour's information session on your chosen topic.

We then had a refreshment break before moving into a Well-Being Session of either:

• Laughter Yoga
• Relaxation

I chose relaxation and had a great session where I almost fell asleep as I was so relaxed!

After the Well-Being Sessions there was free time for a couple of hours before we came back to the main room to watch a mini film. The video was celebrating 10 years of the Younger Women's Forum and featured women who had previously attended the forums.

After the film, we went down to the main restaurant for dinner which was followed by drinks and gossiping in the bar :)

The next day we started with a session about the different services provided by Breast Cancer Care (you can find more out about the services by following this link) which was really interesting as there were a fair few I hadn't heard of before.

After that we went into Break Out Groups again. This time the topics covered were:

• Intimacy & Sexuality
• Fertility After Treatment
• Lymphoedema

After a break, we moved onto a session on Healthy Eating & Diet myths which was really interesting, there are so many things going round about Dairy, Sugar, Soya etc. It was good to be informed so that I could make my own decisions.

We had lunch, and then moved onto a session from 3 speakers who had been affected by bc in some way. One was a lady who now volunteers with BCC, one was a man whose wife sadly passed away from bc and as such he is now a prolific fundraiser for BCC, and another was a lady who had been to the Brighton Forum last year and gave us a chat on "Moving On".

After that we had a session on exercise where we were given some information, and then we had to get up and actually do some exercise!

Then the forum was over :( It absolutely flew by and was brilliant. We all exchanged email addresses and have since set up a Facebook group to stay in touch with each other.

Some of the group from the BCC Brighton Forum

If anyone is in a similar position to me and is thinking whether or not to go to the forum, please do. It was fantastic. The whole thing (including the hotel and all meals) is completely free (funded by BCC) and what an amazing lifeline it is.