Saw this picture of Cora (the woman from the confused.com advert) & it made me laugh because I am this woman! She has about 10 hairs & although the things behind her are actually flowers, I thought it looked like she was doing a chemo fart ;)
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Cream Tea by Post
Today I got an exciting package in the post......
I opened it up and although there was a clue that it was a cream tea I still didn't know what to expect...
I undid the union jack tissue paper to discover this amazing treat!
It was a fantastic Cream Tea for One from Fanny's Farm Shop containing
2 x fruit scones
1 x jar of fruit jam
1 x jar of clotted cream
1 x tea bag
1 x jar of fruit jam
1 x jar of clotted cream
1 x tea bag
Thanks Luke & Jen, what a bloody lovely surprise :)
Friday, 19 October 2012
Chemo Grad - #6 of 6
Today I can say that I am a:
Over the next few days I'll update how chemo 6 has gone, along with my top tips for getting through chemotherapy! but today I'm just bloody pleased to have this part of the journey over with! Jo xxx
Thursday, 18 October 2012
Thank You
A couple of thank yous needed for:
- Hannah for her fab chemo cards that arrive before every session
- Auntie Lee for my beautiful freesia bouquet
- Amy & Andy for their card and fab interchangeable boyfriend beanie
Thanks guys, means loads to know you're thinking bout me :)
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Balance Me
Following my diagnosis back in June, I've been looking for beauty products that are paraben free, if you want to know why, please follow this link. After a bit of research I've found a company called Balance Me and their products are all nasty free:
I contacted them and asked if they could send me a couple of samples, as with my very sensitive skin on chemo, I have to be super careful of how it might react.
I got home from work on Friday last week, and had a "while you were out" notification from the postie. I was able to pick the parcel up from the sorting office yesterday and excitingly it was 3 full sized products from Balance Me :)
They generously sent me:
I'll review the products once I've given them a proper try, but I used the hand cream last night and it was wonderful. Really rich, moisturising and not oily like some hand creams can be.
I contacted them and asked if they could send me a couple of samples, as with my very sensitive skin on chemo, I have to be super careful of how it might react.
I got home from work on Friday last week, and had a "while you were out" notification from the postie. I was able to pick the parcel up from the sorting office yesterday and excitingly it was 3 full sized products from Balance Me :)
They generously sent me:
I'll review the products once I've given them a proper try, but I used the hand cream last night and it was wonderful. Really rich, moisturising and not oily like some hand creams can be.
Thanks Balance Me :)
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Quoi de Neuf
So this time it was more the Tax Van than the Tax Truck that came to town. Although as before the bone pain was horrible, it wasn't quite as bad. Apparently this is because you still have some FEC in your system, so dose #4 is like a double whammy, whereas dose 5 is just (just she says!) Tax not Tax + FEC.
I spent a lot of this chemo taking my temperature, and feeling paranoid that I would be going back to hospital again. Although I know that if that had happened, then hospital would have been the best place for me, the idea of it is still pretty hard to think about.
This chemo has made my eyelashes thin dramatically. I have maybe two lashes on each lower lid, and a few more on each upper lid, but they are becoming pretty sparse. However, the lovely Louise may have just come to my rescue. She works at QVC, and they support (the bloody brilliant) Breast Cancer Care. This coming week they are having a fundraising day, and Louise was chatting to someone who works there about me, and how I was interested in a product called Revitalash. The lady she was talking to then said she had two open samples of the product that I was very welcome to have :) So that's saving me over £100! I think I have to use it after chemo (as your skin becomes super sensitive during treatment), but I'll be able to properly monitor the results then and let you all know if it works or not!
The same thing has happened with my eyebrows which have all but disappeared. I do have a fab bit of make-up to disguise this fact though. It's called Wide Awake by Jelly Pong Pong. It has some eye brightener cream which helps hide my black bags (well suitcases rather than bags tbh!) and makes me look more awake. The eyebrow stuff is powder rather than pencil, so it's easier to use and not as obvious. The eyebrow powder stays on all day which is nice as I find pencil smudges/rubs off mine. There are also 3 colours to chose from, I blend them so use lightest at start of brow and very end, slightly darker leading to the middle on each side then darkest in the very top at the natural arch. I then smudge the whole lot with my little finger so it all blends together. I think unless you really looked, you couldn't tell I was follically challenged!
Chemo #5 is apparently the most emotionally difficult for chemo patients and I can relate to this. I think it's because you're coming to the end of your chemo journey and you have kind of got yourself into a routine, chemo, feel crappy for a week, feel a bit better (but you're housebound because of your low blood count), feel more normal and then it's chemo time again. Now, faced with chemo #6 it's kind of like, what's next, and you feel full of fear and uncertainty again. I know that the next stage is surgery. I'm meeting with my oncologist on Wednesday this coming week to discuss how the chemo has gone thus far, and hopefully he will be able to answer some of my questions about what's next.
This week, although tiring, has been a good one:
Tomorrow evening, there is a fashion show happening at The Hawth in Crawley called Catwalk Carnival to raise money for The Olive Tree (the young person's group I attend) so if you're in the area and fancy going along, please do :)
I spent a lot of this chemo taking my temperature, and feeling paranoid that I would be going back to hospital again. Although I know that if that had happened, then hospital would have been the best place for me, the idea of it is still pretty hard to think about.
This chemo has made my eyelashes thin dramatically. I have maybe two lashes on each lower lid, and a few more on each upper lid, but they are becoming pretty sparse. However, the lovely Louise may have just come to my rescue. She works at QVC, and they support (the bloody brilliant) Breast Cancer Care. This coming week they are having a fundraising day, and Louise was chatting to someone who works there about me, and how I was interested in a product called Revitalash. The lady she was talking to then said she had two open samples of the product that I was very welcome to have :) So that's saving me over £100! I think I have to use it after chemo (as your skin becomes super sensitive during treatment), but I'll be able to properly monitor the results then and let you all know if it works or not!
The same thing has happened with my eyebrows which have all but disappeared. I do have a fab bit of make-up to disguise this fact though. It's called Wide Awake by Jelly Pong Pong. It has some eye brightener cream which helps hide my black bags (well suitcases rather than bags tbh!) and makes me look more awake. The eyebrow stuff is powder rather than pencil, so it's easier to use and not as obvious. The eyebrow powder stays on all day which is nice as I find pencil smudges/rubs off mine. There are also 3 colours to chose from, I blend them so use lightest at start of brow and very end, slightly darker leading to the middle on each side then darkest in the very top at the natural arch. I then smudge the whole lot with my little finger so it all blends together. I think unless you really looked, you couldn't tell I was follically challenged!
Chemo #5 is apparently the most emotionally difficult for chemo patients and I can relate to this. I think it's because you're coming to the end of your chemo journey and you have kind of got yourself into a routine, chemo, feel crappy for a week, feel a bit better (but you're housebound because of your low blood count), feel more normal and then it's chemo time again. Now, faced with chemo #6 it's kind of like, what's next, and you feel full of fear and uncertainty again. I know that the next stage is surgery. I'm meeting with my oncologist on Wednesday this coming week to discuss how the chemo has gone thus far, and hopefully he will be able to answer some of my questions about what's next.
This week, although tiring, has been a good one:
- I won a competition at White Mischief Bridal - a day out consisting of a voucher off a dress, champagne, makeover, manicure, goody bag & sweet treats. Good news is that it's after my chemo, about week 4 so I should (fingers crossed) feel okay
- I was able to go back to work (I braved wearing Erika!) and although it absolutely exhausted me it was great to go back.
- I got to see my sister Kitty & brother Henry (for the first time in far too long) along with my dad for lunch
- It was my two of lovely friend's (Laura & Hannah) 30th birthdays - Happy Birthday Girls!
- Rob & I sorted the company that is going to do our invites, table plan, table names/numbers, guest book & postbox at for our wedding :)
- I went to the cinema with Rob, Michelle & Dave
- I have peach fuzz! My head hair is growing!! It's not much and is a bit like the fuzz you get on peach skin but it's definitely there and it's definitely growing :)
Tomorrow evening, there is a fashion show happening at The Hawth in Crawley called Catwalk Carnival to raise money for The Olive Tree (the young person's group I attend) so if you're in the area and fancy going along, please do :)
Best summary title for this post is Quoi de Neuf. There's not really an English equivalent but here's a rough translation
Friday, 5 October 2012
Finger Tips
So as you've probably read from previous posts (and just know anyway) chemotherapy attacks all your hair, your eyelashes, eyebrows & skin. Something you may not know is that it also gangs up on your nails. From googling (bad Jojo) I read that your nails can lift (the thought of this makes me feel pretty sick), split, discolour & weaken.
So far my nails have gone slightly yellow, felt tingly pretty much non-stop (a bit like the feeling when you shut your fingers in a door) & they've also developed some horizontal white rings/lines going across them. A bit of research tells me that these are called Muehrcke's Nails/Lines, are completely normal whilst on chemo & are indicators of periods of stress on the body.
At the moment my nails are staying put, and with only 1 chemo left, I'm keeping everything crossed they'll stick around. As (so far) what I'm doing is working for me, I thought I'd share my nailcare routine in case anyone else out there is going through the same thing.....
Every night I use Burt's Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream which smells fresh & clean & helps keep my cuticles soft & moisturised. Then I use Scholl Nail Conditioner (I got it in the 99p store - bargain!) on both my toe and fingernails. After that I smother moisturiser (at the moment I'm using Vaseline Healthy Hand & Nail) on my hands & feet and then finally I put on some socks & cotton gloves to help my skin absorb all the treatments.
Every day I use Tropic Body Love Buttercream & every couple of days I soak my nails in Care+ Almond Oil as a natural cuticle treatment.
Some of the forums I belong to suggest that UV from the sun can affect your nails whilst on chemo & that painting them a dark colour is a good plan. Luckily I have my own nail painting god in the form of Rob :) Every couple of weeks I use Sally Hansen Miracle Nail Thickener as a base coat & then use a dark colour on top. I have been using Avon Midnight Plum for the whole of chemo so far so think I might switch to something different later today - just have to speak to Rob nicely :)
My nailcare package:
So far my nails have gone slightly yellow, felt tingly pretty much non-stop (a bit like the feeling when you shut your fingers in a door) & they've also developed some horizontal white rings/lines going across them. A bit of research tells me that these are called Muehrcke's Nails/Lines, are completely normal whilst on chemo & are indicators of periods of stress on the body.
At the moment my nails are staying put, and with only 1 chemo left, I'm keeping everything crossed they'll stick around. As (so far) what I'm doing is working for me, I thought I'd share my nailcare routine in case anyone else out there is going through the same thing.....
Every night I use Burt's Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream which smells fresh & clean & helps keep my cuticles soft & moisturised. Then I use Scholl Nail Conditioner (I got it in the 99p store - bargain!) on both my toe and fingernails. After that I smother moisturiser (at the moment I'm using Vaseline Healthy Hand & Nail) on my hands & feet and then finally I put on some socks & cotton gloves to help my skin absorb all the treatments.
Every day I use Tropic Body Love Buttercream & every couple of days I soak my nails in Care+ Almond Oil as a natural cuticle treatment.
Some of the forums I belong to suggest that UV from the sun can affect your nails whilst on chemo & that painting them a dark colour is a good plan. Luckily I have my own nail painting god in the form of Rob :) Every couple of weeks I use Sally Hansen Miracle Nail Thickener as a base coat & then use a dark colour on top. I have been using Avon Midnight Plum for the whole of chemo so far so think I might switch to something different later today - just have to speak to Rob nicely :)
My nailcare package:
Thursday, 4 October 2012
Thursday, 27 September 2012
Update
So this week has been all about getting strong for chemo #5.
Came out of hospital to some lovely flowers from Amanda & Paul:
Felt well enough to go to work on Friday & it was great to go back in & get a sense of normality.
Sunday was Amanda's birthday meal at The Bull & I wore Erika, still not 100% convinced it doesn't look like dolly's hair tbh!
When we were there Amanda gave me my amazing quilt that she's been handmaking for me over the last month. It's Cath Kidston style, snuggley & absolutely fantastic :) Thank you Amanda :) xxx
Monday-Wednesday I went to work which was busy & fairly tiring - used lots of spoons! Saw Michelle on Tuesday night which was fun, good girlie night!
Today I went to St Luke's & had a blood test ready for chemo #5 tomorrow. I really hate blood tests! Never liked them but now my veins are becoming pretty hard so this time it blimmin hurt! We had a bit of a delay to see the BC nurse but as we had to wait, it meant my blood test results were back & the BC nurse said they were really good, better than last time even, so chemo tomorrow is a go.
Big thank you to Sandra for my Sanctuary Spa Treats gift set, I'm saving this for my achey bone time next week after T:
Also received a v colourful postcard from my ever thoughtful friend Hannah who has sent me a card ahead of every chemo I've had, thanks Han:
Came out of hospital to some lovely flowers from Amanda & Paul:
Sunday was Amanda's birthday meal at The Bull & I wore Erika, still not 100% convinced it doesn't look like dolly's hair tbh!
When we were there Amanda gave me my amazing quilt that she's been handmaking for me over the last month. It's Cath Kidston style, snuggley & absolutely fantastic :) Thank you Amanda :) xxx
Monday-Wednesday I went to work which was busy & fairly tiring - used lots of spoons! Saw Michelle on Tuesday night which was fun, good girlie night!
Today I went to St Luke's & had a blood test ready for chemo #5 tomorrow. I really hate blood tests! Never liked them but now my veins are becoming pretty hard so this time it blimmin hurt! We had a bit of a delay to see the BC nurse but as we had to wait, it meant my blood test results were back & the BC nurse said they were really good, better than last time even, so chemo tomorrow is a go.
Big thank you to Sandra for my Sanctuary Spa Treats gift set, I'm saving this for my achey bone time next week after T:
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
A Very Long Walk
This Saturday night, my lovely friend Kate is taking part in Shine London 2012 walking 26.2 miles to raise funds for Cancer Research.
She has already raised a fantastic amount of £1,792 but any donations you can give to make this fab amount even more amazing would be massively appreciated.
Please use this link to sponsor her: http://www.justgiving.com/KateSmith2012
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Home Sweet Home
My goodness it's lovely to be home. Slept so well in my own bed last night, no dip in the mattress, comfy pillows & no cannula in the arm :) Feel totally overwhelmed & a bit in shock by it all to be honest but I'm so happy to be back with my boys!
Photo of my cards:
The stay in hospital now I look back on it was actually okay. I was treated very well, had my own room (due to risk of infection) & was allowed (limited) visitors outside of visiting hours. What wasn't nice was being away from my family, being isolated & not knowing what was actually wrong with me. The food was also mank & I've lost almost 2kg in the time I was in hospital. The chemo nurses won't be pleased about that so will have to try and put some back on. That's harder said than done though because firstly everything tastes metallic & cardboardy & secondly, although I don't feel nauseous any more; the T has made the inside of my mouth & throat peel so it feels permanently like I have bits in my throat which in turn makes me feel sick.
One thing I was worried about after having all the drugs in hospital was that it would delay my chemo but Rob contacted Guildford & they said "don't worry, this happens all the time (that's pretty scary!) so chemo will go ahead as normal". That means #5 is next Friday & then there should be just one left!
Photo of my cards:
Thank You Michelle, Granny Clarice, Sandra & family, Caroline & Mo, Robbie, Lesley & Katie & my Buying Buddies :)
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Dorothy
In the words of Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz:
Neutrophils back up, temperature normal, no more poorly tummy = I'm home!
Sunday, 16 September 2012
Cross Everything
Fingers crossed I can escape tomorrow! Temperature back to normal, heart-rate still slightly high but not enough to be worrying & tummy okay too. As long as bloodwork results are positive when they take them tomorrow I'll be a free woman :)
Fingers crossed, thumbs held, toes crossed too!
My balloon from Michelle:
Fingers crossed, thumbs held, toes crossed too!
My balloon from Michelle:
Friday, 14 September 2012
Hospital Morning #1
Blogging this post from my hospital bed.
After being told I was being admitted, I got moved to the Ardingly Ward. I was put in a room to the side on my own & was eventually brought some food (6 hours after first having requested something to eat!). Rob left & I had a bit of a boo as just felt so overwhelmed by everything.
Had yet more antibiotics & fluids administered & then Michelle turned up for a quick visit. Whilst she was here I got moved to a more 'sealed' room. We worked out how to use the TV, find it pretty cheeky that you have to pay even to watch regular telly.
After Michelle left I had yet more fluids that took until about 02:45 to finish dripping through. With the canula in my arm, feeling totally overwhelmed by everything & just generally stressed, it was really hard to sleep; I think I got 3 hours in all.
Got woken at 06:30 for more antibiotics & asked for a shower about 08:30. Got brought my menu for the day & picked my options cod & potatoes and then quiche & salad for dinner. Was hoping I'd be out today and not have to choose but I guess that means I won't be..... :(
Blood nurse came in and tried to take my bloods in my arm where I had FEC but the veins are so hard they wouldn't bleed so she had to take them from my hand - yuk. Come on bloods, please be back up!
Eventually got my shower at 11:15 and am now just settled on the bed, think I'll try and have a quick doze :)
Update: Here's a pic of my lunch..... Not had Smash mashed potatoes in years (they're still rank!)
After being told I was being admitted, I got moved to the Ardingly Ward. I was put in a room to the side on my own & was eventually brought some food (6 hours after first having requested something to eat!). Rob left & I had a bit of a boo as just felt so overwhelmed by everything.
Had yet more antibiotics & fluids administered & then Michelle turned up for a quick visit. Whilst she was here I got moved to a more 'sealed' room. We worked out how to use the TV, find it pretty cheeky that you have to pay even to watch regular telly.
After Michelle left I had yet more fluids that took until about 02:45 to finish dripping through. With the canula in my arm, feeling totally overwhelmed by everything & just generally stressed, it was really hard to sleep; I think I got 3 hours in all.
Got woken at 06:30 for more antibiotics & asked for a shower about 08:30. Got brought my menu for the day & picked my options cod & potatoes and then quiche & salad for dinner. Was hoping I'd be out today and not have to choose but I guess that means I won't be..... :(
Blood nurse came in and tried to take my bloods in my arm where I had FEC but the veins are so hard they wouldn't bleed so she had to take them from my hand - yuk. Come on bloods, please be back up!
Eventually got my shower at 11:15 and am now just settled on the bed, think I'll try and have a quick doze :)
Update: Here's a pic of my lunch..... Not had Smash mashed potatoes in years (they're still rank!)
Thursday, 13 September 2012
Hello A&E
I'm currently in A&E in Haywards Heath as after a morning of being sick, having an upset tummy & a temperature we thought I should get checked out.
Got admitted quickly as when you're on chemo you have a sort of fast track card. They took my temperature which had gone back to normal, my bloods, my blood pressure & my heart rate. My blood pressure was normal but my heart rate was fast and after a few hours of waiting it turns out I was neutropenic. Which basically means I have very low white bloods cells and therefore no immune system. This means I'm going to be admitted to hospital for at least an overnight stay :(
Here's a pic of me in an A&E waiting room looking less than wonderful!
Got admitted quickly as when you're on chemo you have a sort of fast track card. They took my temperature which had gone back to normal, my bloods, my blood pressure & my heart rate. My blood pressure was normal but my heart rate was fast and after a few hours of waiting it turns out I was neutropenic. Which basically means I have very low white bloods cells and therefore no immune system. This means I'm going to be admitted to hospital for at least an overnight stay :(
Here's a pic of me in an A&E waiting room looking less than wonderful!
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
Tropic Skincare
A few weeks ago I noticed that my skin was getting very dry so I started looking for products that would be natural and nourishing.
I remembered from following Lord Sugar on Twitter that he worked with a lady that was in the Apprentice called Susan Ma who had set up her own natural skincare company called Tropic. I found Tropic Skincare on the internet and the products looked amazing. The trouble with chemo is you never know how your skin is going to react to certain products so through their contact form I sent them a brief message with a link to this blog explaining that I was undergoing chemotherapy and was looking for a few samples to try.
A day later I had a personal email back from Susan saying that they would be delighted to send me some samples to try and asked for my home address.
As you can tell from earlier blog posts from this week I've had a pretty rough time on T, so when I got home from the doctors today and saw a box outside the front door I was pretty buoyed. I got inside and opened the box, expecting to see a couple of sachets of products, so when I pulled out 3 full size products and a personal letter I was pretty blown away.
Tropic kindly sent me the following products:
So far I've only smelt them (rather than used them) and they smell delicious, really citrus based and fresh which is just the kind of scent you need when undergoing chemo. Anything oily or chemically would just make you feel nauseous. I'm really excited to use them (I'll let you know what I think!).
I remembered from following Lord Sugar on Twitter that he worked with a lady that was in the Apprentice called Susan Ma who had set up her own natural skincare company called Tropic. I found Tropic Skincare on the internet and the products looked amazing. The trouble with chemo is you never know how your skin is going to react to certain products so through their contact form I sent them a brief message with a link to this blog explaining that I was undergoing chemotherapy and was looking for a few samples to try.
A day later I had a personal email back from Susan saying that they would be delighted to send me some samples to try and asked for my home address.
As you can tell from earlier blog posts from this week I've had a pretty rough time on T, so when I got home from the doctors today and saw a box outside the front door I was pretty buoyed. I got inside and opened the box, expecting to see a couple of sachets of products, so when I pulled out 3 full size products and a personal letter I was pretty blown away.
Tropic kindly sent me the following products:
Thank you very much Tropic!
Tu Me Manques
Things I miss (in no particular order):
Can't wait until November when I can have a Things I've Missed mass-fest!
- Gin
- Prawns
- Swimming
- Halloumi
- Hair related things
- Spontaneity
- Pimms
- DBD (days before diagnosis)
- Holidays - Supposed to be in Spain in the moment - boo :(
- Serrano and Parma ham
- Normal taste buds!
- Calamari
- Walking without feeling like I'm 100 years old
- Pâté
Can't wait until November when I can have a Things I've Missed mass-fest!
Bye Bye You Biting Beastie
Dear Mosquito,
I hope you enjoyed biting me last night because I think now you've got my chemo blood in you you've probably bitten your last victim!
Die you mofo!
Best Wishes,
Jo
The Tax Truck
Well this is utterly shite. The Tax truck has run me over, reversed & run me over again. I'm 29 but every aching bone in my body makes me feel like I'm 100 :( It hurts to turn over in bed, to walk to the toilet, to even type this blog post :(
Docetaxel (aka Tax or T) affects your bones making them ache like anything. Because your WBC count is even lower on T than FEC you need to have granocyte injections in your tummy. These stimulate WBC production & this causes even more bone & joint pain. Monday night was horrendous, I was hallucinating half the night, I vaguely remember dreams about selling my pain?! When I started this journey Rob bought me a heated blanket which I had yet to use, but yesterday it was wonderful.
Another SE of the dreaded T is losing your taste buds :( My tongue is fat & gross, covered in white fur & everything tastes cardboardy & flabby. I can just about taste pineapple ice lollies so you'd think we have shares in Del Monte given the amount in our freezer.
Other SEs I've found so far are ridiculously dry skin (my hands are peeling) & very sore nails.
I can't wait for the T to be over!
Docetaxel (aka Tax or T) affects your bones making them ache like anything. Because your WBC count is even lower on T than FEC you need to have granocyte injections in your tummy. These stimulate WBC production & this causes even more bone & joint pain. Monday night was horrendous, I was hallucinating half the night, I vaguely remember dreams about selling my pain?! When I started this journey Rob bought me a heated blanket which I had yet to use, but yesterday it was wonderful.
Another SE of the dreaded T is losing your taste buds :( My tongue is fat & gross, covered in white fur & everything tastes cardboardy & flabby. I can just about taste pineapple ice lollies so you'd think we have shares in Del Monte given the amount in our freezer.
Other SEs I've found so far are ridiculously dry skin (my hands are peeling) & very sore nails.
I can't wait for the T to be over!
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